Banana Plastic Republic

Go Light, Freeze at Night. Many of you will remember, that was the plan. Well, Friday night, that plan was thrown out because I realized I had forgotten to pack the Nike jacket which was a key to the plan.

I had always planned on wearing everything I would take to the race start on Saturday, but instead of a jersey and jacket, I rolled with a base layer, arm warmers and a jersey on my upper body.

This worked perfectly well until roughly 10pm on Saturday night, when I discovered that the base layer, which I had taken off during the day had fallen out of my jersey pockets. Big Skinny gave me a thin shirt to add on, but it wasn't the thickness of what I had lost. I put a mental note deep in the back of my mind that I would have to deal with it sometime and pressed on.

Around 3pm, B.J. and I, having lost Corey to injury, stopped in to a gas station to reload but damage had already been done. I didn't notice how cold I was until I went into the store and suddenly felt myself lose clarity of mind. In hindsight, I think my body was shutting down to let itself warm up. I fumbled around gather food and drink, occassionally chatting, but generally lost in a fog.

At some point I realized I needed something to keep me warmer. I had already tried using my musette (thanks Joe), but knew that was like lighting a match and calling it a bonfire now. There was nothing obvious to buy, no shirts, jackets, etc. No dice.

The clerk had been restocking the bananas and had left the boxes out on the floor. Inside each box was a sheet of plastic with small holes in it. I picked up a sheet, walked over to the clerk and said, "Hey man, this might be an odd question, but can I have this." He said,"sure," barely looking up from his inventory sheet and I tried to decide how to use it.

Initially, I tried to use it as a poncho on the outside of my jersey. If anyone, other than B.J. saw this pathetic display, send me pictures. I teetered around like a drunk trying to rip a whole in the plastic and pull it over my head. I would get the plastic caught on the Cateye light hooked to my helmet and stumble around trying to yank the sheet back off.

Finally, stopping the madness, B.J. said, "I'd put that under my jersey." Ummmm... Yeah. I folded the sheet over four times and stuff it up my shirt. I tried to gather myself to go back out but kept filtering over the food warmers. No one else was really moving very quickly so I easily feel back into inaction. Somewhere in this time Butch and MW came in. It was the first time I had seen them since the start. MW said I was gone in a flash and Butch said my eyes were wide as saucers. I feel like I talked to them, but they say no. They are probably right.

Finally, I went back outside and after a few short minutes of riding felt completely helpless against the cold. B.J. let me know that he too was really feeling it and pointed out that the predawn is always the coldest point of the day. I knew this, had already told myself the same, but struggled to accept it.

Then we missed a turn and shortly there after, I couldn't really see. I was following red blinking lights and when I looked down at my cue sheet, I saw a mix of black, grey and white.

We circled the wagons with Beck and others when Corey's phone, which I now had in my pocket rang. Jeff was given us a dial to see how things were. A 4pm call would normally have been wonderful, but Jeff later said I strangely calm. When he asked something about me making it to the finish, I said, "I don't know" flatly then got off of the phone.

Perhaps it was the combination of sleep deprivation and cold, but I could not get my vision to return. I was riding with Cale, Ken, Matt and B.J. when I looked down and my cue sheet and sat there trying to blink and shake my head until I could read them. I then realized I had held my head down and continued riding down the road without looking for several moments, not looking up, just pedalling, head down toward the ground. I pulled a foot out and stopped. Shook my head then finally tried to look around. I couldn't see any lights in front of me and Beck and his crew were nowhere to be seen behind me. I have no idea where I am, I thought.

I rode forward for a short minute or two and found I could now see my cue sheets. My feeling is that being alone caused whatever survival instincts we have to kick energy to my cognitive functions. I hit the next road, found it on the cue sheet and kept rolling. At the last flooded road, I caught Cale and B.J. who had stopped to walk through the water.

I was back. The rumors of my death having been greatly exaggerated.