The Money Tree

See, it does grow on trees.


MOD is getting paid.



Coaching Lesson Number One
"I say Gents. Good Show!!"

"Shut up and Type" - Blogger of the Year

Read this in your best starlet voice: "The Nominations for 'Blogger of the Year ' are:

Eddie O'dea. He probably deserves my vote since he put his hand in the middle of my back to get me going at 9 Mile when I blew all of my speed coming into that gravel climb.

FatMarc. Funny. Self-Deprecating. Fast.

Danielle Musto. To quote Joe: "Funny, lots of good stories and pictures, and she wins the overall from time to time at endurance events."

Paddy Humenny. Killed his blog just in time for the awards. How appropriate.

Endurosnob. That guy's an asshole.

Jason Sager. If getting completely screwed over by USA Cycling wins you this. He should win in a landslide. He's also hysterical.

CVO - Lincoln's Founding Blog Father. As Cornbread said, the most influential man in Nebraska Cycling. (He's also cool as hell.)

Guitar Ted. Sheldon Brown of the Midwest. If Jeff Kerkove is Mr.24, Mark may be Mr.29.

Jesse LaLonde. Creepy Friendly. Single Speed Nazi. Founder of the BKB. Rockstar.

Rich Dillen. Could this be the beginning of a Bad Idea Racing awards sweep?

Let the voting begin.

The Future of Fun

I just stole that title off of 'Today on MSN," so how weak am I?

Planning to remove the Cheddar and be betta in 2007? Marc's starting a little service to assist. Where are the F-bombs? Maybe that comes during the rides with your coach.

Speaking of Wild MOFO's, Sam's was scheduled to get the wrist checked today. Ah, the itch of deadskin.

Paddy's blog is dead again. What's new?

Got an out-of-the-blue email from an old friend today. We worked together at the Bicycle Garage of Indianapolis and had some good times together, including qualifying for the USARA 24hr National Championships in his first race. Now the man works for Giant, based on his email address, and somehow "caught rumor of this blog the other day called endurosnob and I knew it could only be one person." Is that bad or good?

It is nice to know that this thing has at least one practical use. Good to hear from you, Scott.

Voting starts tomorrow. No Diabold. No Ernst & Young.

I do have a Sharpie and I am not afraid to use it.

Crash

Word on the street is that the blog is crashing people's browsers. Sorry folks. MonkeyGirl is on the case though, so hopefully it gets sorted out quickly.

Thanks to the folks who nominated for the Awards. We'll kick off the voting next week along with some ridiculous crap I made up on my own.

The Endurosnob Awards 2007

Some of you may remember that last year I asked the question, "How About Endurance Cyclist of the Year." It turned out to be a battle of communities between the Kerkove Army and friends of Dejay Birtch. In the end, Dejay walked away with the popular vote.

Let's roll the dice again (after all, today is election day) and add a couple of categories.

Category One: Endurance Cyclist of the Year.

Category Two: Single Speeder of the Year.

Category Three: Photo of the Year (Relating to the above two categories. I have my own porn.)

Category Four: Blogger of the Year.

Here's how we'll work it. Put your nominations into the comments to this post or send your photos my way. (Email is in my profile.) After a week, I will take your nominations and put the categories up to a vote in separate posts.

This was pretty fun last year and people had the right spirit, giving people props, so let's keep it rolling this year.
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Let me get the ball rolling. (I'm saving the photo for when I send them all out.):

Endurance Cyclist of the Year: Rich Dillen. (Yes, he's a great choice elsewhere too.)

Single Speeder of the Year: Dan Jansen. (I struggled with this one.)

Blogger of the Year: Creepy Friendly. (I could probably be arrested for stalking his site.)

I also wanted to put all of the guys as Single Speeder of the Year, so much respect to all.

Clarification: A few people have emailed asking if you can nominate in only one category. The answer is absolutely. Various levels of geekdom are welcome.

Hand-Ups in Hell

Interested? See CreepyFriendly for the goods.

Season in a Spreadsheet

2007 has been on my mind a lot this week. So, with a spreadsheet pulled up and time to surf around the web-r-net, I came up with the following loose schedule:

March: Ouachita Challenge. IMBA Epic trail. Good reports from Squirrel and Mr. 24. What else is there to do in March?
April: TransIowa. This may be the last go at this one for me. The Arizona Trail is the current Devil on my Shoulder.
May: Dirty Kanza. Still bummed I missed 06.
June: Lumberjack 100. Big M and a big mug of Founder's Ale?
July: 9 Mile. 19hrs really wasn't enough.
August: Endurance 100. Not sold on this one, but August was looking a little bleak.
September: Mohican 100. Which would mean I am one race away from qualifying for the Ultra Endurance Series. Not sure what to do about the 4th race though.

Feel free to yell "pull" and shoot holes in this. I'd love the feedback.
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Props out to the rockers who killed dreams at the Iceman this weekend. Jesse grabbed Fifth rocking the Rig. Marko hit 12th. Joe grabbed 13th in SS with big wheels and his friend Dan Jansen grabbed 7th in the Pro Cat. without a der. The good Dr. Cale also came in strong in the 50-54 group. (Now we just need to get him on the SS.)

Inspired By...

The Bouncing Souls

Penta-Pumpkin

After flying a black flag in front of my house for two months, this won't phase any of my neighbors.






Honorable Mention: Mohawk's creation from two years ago. Still works.

"The Joke's Over" by Ralph Steadman

Even if you don't know the name, you probably recognize the artistic style. Ralph Steadman has just released a memoir which covers in large part his friendship with Hunter S. Thompson. Forward by Kurt Vonnegut. Not too shabby.
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TransRockies Registration opens November 1st. I'm not sure how quickly the race fills up but if anyone is interested, let me know.

Business Tripping

Just returned from a business trip to Mini-apple-less. Yippee. In the middle of presentations I found myself thinking about...

eating healthier... could I actually do the vegan thing...
training for cross... is it too late to really make a difference...
9 Mile... better than sixth...
TranRockies... who'd be a good partner...
Is the air dead in this room?...

What I didn't know going in was that Laura Bush was speaking at the hotel we were staying at. The morning she spoke there were cops all over, the place was tapped off and I was looking around for a dead body. It was just Laura Bush.

I am not a fan.

If Only He Rode A Single

I was doing a little nutrition research today and found my way to Organic Athlete. In the process, I go to their athletes page and read Molly Cameron's Bio. You can guess the story from there. Intrigued, I hit his webpage and start reading his blog. Archives. Mentions of Lincoln transplant Matt Slaven and then I see the pic on the right. Tattoos the BKB can be proud of.

I don't know that I could go Vegan, but I am sure I will keep checking back to see how his season goes. Do you think maybe he has a somewhat sweet ride?

CX Day Two: Gut Shot

We have a race!!!


I love my bike. The engine needs a lot of work.


Tony Givin' It with Power.


Day Two. New faces turn out and we had a full blown tacitcal race on our hands. Sir Wilhelm running it SS and a cat he races with on the Trek Midwest team charging it with gears (sorry his name escapes me even though MOD told me several times.) This cat rocked a crazy bridge early to pull Tony back, then recovered for a few laps as Tony pulled him around. Then things got fun. The course had a long slightly uphill section that appeared as if it would be Tony's undoing, as the gears allowed the fresh face on the scene to either sit and recover or pull away as needed. With a couple to go, Tony was actually on wheel and losing ground on the flats and the one long climb on the course. WE NEED MORE COWBELL. Somehow however, on the last lap, just after said climb, Tony popped out of the woods with the lead and held it for the win.

As for me, I got my ass handed to me yet again. My fitness blows and I've got pictures to prove it. (Speaking of Pics, MOD's got the goods.) We've got a month until the Lincoln weekend, so I'll focus on gaining back some self-respect there, but won't forget about the Midwest Cross Cup either.

I love a good beating.

CX Day One - Sir Wilhem I presume?

"I beat you with one leg."


No dab here. Also, the scene of Tony taking a beer handup.


GiveR Mod!!!


Matt P was a blur.


Cross is beauty.


I spent most the race in this position, trying to figure out how to get into my pedals.

Cross Season - Yeah!!

Shit. That reminds me that I forgot to pack my arm-warmers.

Chewing on Glass

Restless. Edgy. Angry. Tired. Pent-up. Tied down. Tethered. Impatient. Teeth Grinding. Fist Clenching. Bloodshot.
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Cross Saturday and Sunday. Hit up Velosource today. Saw the virtual course before it came down. Made a gear decision.
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Good time to let it all out.
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*****

Hunter S. Thompson would be Proud

Welcome to the Kitten Factory!!!

Bikes Belong

Now that's a parking lot.

Bicycles are so Passe

"You never thought you'd get addicted, just be cooler in an obvious way."


"I can't help but feel responsible. I always knew that you were insane, with your pain."


"Shouldn't you have got a couple piercings and decided maybe that you were gay?"

"Fah, la, la, la, la, la, lah..."

"I never thought you'd be a junkie because Heroine is so passe."

----------------------

Anyone who knows me knows that my family and friends come before everything else. As you can tell, I got selfish and broke that rule. The past two years have been a test which my crew and I have passed with loyalty and honor so, fuck it, I am celebrating.

Much love and respect out to Jeff, Corey, Sam and Johnny who helped make this bike a reality.

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Holy Cow. I had quite the grammar error rolling there. Jeez.

It's Time to Play "Where's Marko?"

Based on the children's series "Where's Waldo," this game is truly fun for the whole family. Just take out your latest issue of Velonews (Bettini cover) and turn to the first photo in 'Off the Front.' Now it's simple: "Where's Marko?"

Tired of looking for Marko? Me too. You can also play the bonus version of the game: "Where's Paddy?" Don't let the Canadian and his Rabobank jersey get away scott free, but his mixing and matching of helmet can make him a difficult find.

That's enough adject stupidity from me tonight. Maybe I will make the blog less ridiculous tomorrow.

Snob out.

Conspiracy of Snobbery

Familar with the Grand Unification Theory? Me either, but I believe it's the concept of combining theories in various sciences and potentially religious world views into one all encompassing scheme. Fuck that. All I know is that there is a lot going on and it's throwing me some curves, so Chaos Theory rules the day.

Chaos:
Apparently if you are linked on the left, you have won something recently, gotten your ass hurt, or broken a component on your ride of choice.

Mr. 24 breaks a digit. Sam goes down. YET, Rich rocks the house, Paddy stays inflated, and Joe keeps his chain on. Chaos.

Speaking of Mr. Kerkove, his post regarding what race you would rather win leaves me thinking about 2007. Nationals is a must. A real season is a must.

If several of you aren't sick of drinking beer with the Snob after 2007, I will be disappointed.

Digging for Fire

Mrs. Snob feels the title of this post should be, "Drunk and Grumpy," but....

Rode the bike to the grocery with the RadMan and didn't touch the bike the rest of the day. Why? I am not really sure.

So, someone help me out with the new class structure in Cross. I never got a Norba License because most endurance races don't require it or a one-day serves a brother just fine.

I have visited our friendly USA Cycling site for some answers and found this: "If you are a new racer, then your CX category will start as a 4. Just as in road and track events, you can upgrade to a 3 by earning points in CX races.

If you had a 2005 USCF or NORBA license, then you were issued a 2006 CX category when you renewed."

WTF? So, I am a 4? I'd appreciate it if someone could clarify this for my dumbass. I was a fiery furance to race SS Open this year and obviously didn't know what the hell was going on.

In other news, it looks like Eatough has a battle on his hands at 24hr "Worlds." An Aussie named Craig Gordon is working to fuck up Eatough's Movie and end the "Worlds" steak. Ride424 is bringing the updates. If Eatough wants it, he needs to get the lead back asap. The longer the underdog hangs around, the more he begins to believe and the harder he is to kill.

Knives out, Eatough. Knives out.

Blah Hum-Bug

Why is it that everytime I update my links, I seem to forget someone I meant to add?

New reads on the left.

Bloggerdom at its finest.
___

I like Circles.

I Got Your Fall Right Here

Damn, I love fall. Great day. Great people.

Meet the crew at Bridge A. Cruised it. Snuck away for some heavy breathing. Drug my ass back to the crew at Bridge B. Paced it nicely with Corey and Nate back out to 14th.

Noteable Moment One. As Corey, Nate and I popped over the newly made Jamaica Trail, I heard Nate say something I couldn't make out and saw some people to our far left down the trail. Once we hit 14th, Nate explained that the dude was naked and pulling up his shorts and his lady friend walked back to her bike. Ah yes, many great ways to enjoy the great outdoors.

Noteable Moment Two. Corey and I heading back up the Rock Island trail toward home and just after we passed the Y we saw two uniformed men in the distance. As we rolled up, we each had a cop standing in front of us and holding a shotgun at his side. They had gotten a call from a woman who said she saw a guy sitting on a tree stump with a shotgun in one hand and a cell phone in the other. We'd seen nothing like that, explained that to the officers (along with further "did you look here?" suggestions) and then moved along on our merry way. I didn't mention it to Corey at the time, but I thought, how wierd would it be to hear a gunshot right now? It was all good though. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Nate sticking his ass in the frame.


He's not one the phone, though it sort of gives that look.


Corey rolled up at stopped two. Welcome Big Skinny.


Nate's all about the Vogue. Strike a pose!!


Not only was it a busy day in the park, apparently it was a busy night as well.

Anti-Social Butterfly

Actually, I just needed a good night's sleep. It was get sleep or get sick. 5:30am wasn't happening. Missed the Century. Saw the Crizzuse ride. Kept it solo for three hours through Wilderness and a little gravel interval action. Dellusions of cross just won't die.

I love fall.

Mrs. Snob has Skills

Fender Blender

Break out the martini glasses. Take equal parts espresso, kahlua and vodka. Throw it in a shaker with some ice. Shake your money maker and enjoy.
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Instead of renting a fine white cadillac, perhaps a Pugsley would be more appropriate. In this race, perhaps it's best to pour beer on your chest to fascillitate the tanning process. Perhaps.
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My homeless friend sets up and tears down within a day. He's a little less cautious with each. Doomstruck. Shopping cart abandoned in the middle of the bike path. Occassionally, he will lay under it like a bag of water softener salt spilling out of the side. Pedistrians will be his undoing from fear of the unknown. Fear and Loathing.
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If I walk to the back of the line, can I start over?
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36x16. Morning. Noon. Night. Traffic. Prairie. Empty.
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"I sleep on a tall roof and scream my songs
into lazy floods of stars.
And the sounds return
pure and easy.
Ah, the city
is on
my
side."

Easy Listening

Vapour Trail

My mind is all about Cross. It's a pretty easy transition when the mtb season amounted to starting only 3 races, one of which I shouldn't have, and finishing one. Best laid plans, bitch. Best laid plans.

The Nebraska Cross Series starts Oct. 21st with a weekend of fun and pain.

The Mid-America Cross Cup is also back and, while the site has yet to be update for 2006, Maxxis has the complete schedule on their site (scroll down). The black flag that so angered Mr. Adidas is being converted BKB style.

Hit the intervals today. The fast twitch muscle fiber is MIA at the moment. I did see a red tail hawk and a stealth bomber while I was out. That doesn't happen everyday.

Executive Decision - The Endurosnob Epic is Postponed

We're going to wait for 2007.

I apologize for the brave souls who dove right in and signed up. You'll get a full refund, as you know.

For those folks who were interested but couldn't quite pull the trigger. Feel free to let me know what would have tipped the scales either by email or in the comments. I know a few of the reasons, but am completely open to everyone's thoughts.

Special thanks to those that did sign-up, CreepyFriendly for the killer artwork and Butch and Rick for the Recon help.

Snob out.

The Story Behind the Pictures

The Epic Recon was, if nothing else, a hell of a lot of fun.

Rock D, Butch and I set out for Valentine on Saturday morning with three maps, a truck load of gear and bikes and one informed "I am not sure about this area here" view of the map from Butch's father in law. Before we left, we also grabbed a shovel. Ah yes, shovels are good.

We started at the Valentine Park, sign pictured in the last post, which is a perfect place to start. Overnight camping for a 5 spot, picnic tables, shelter, and a steep as hell hill to climb out of the place come start time.

The early road section was scenic, rolling and telling, as it was a lonely road very quickly. Without premeditation I turned to Butch and asked, "So if you are racing, what are you thinking at this point?" Butch replied, "That this is gonna be sweet. And that I hope I have enough water."

When we turned off the pavement, I felt some excitement. We were getting into the unsupported area and knew that here, the maps could only tell us part of the story. As we drove, the quality of the road kept diminishing, buildings became fewer and fewer and we discussed the windmills which popped up every so often which pumped out water into a catch.
Soon the road turned into two ribbons and then faint lines on the ground.

Along the way, we experienced a few navigational pauses. At one point Rick chatted with a local farmer who clearly thought we had a screw loose, but let us know the way continue down the "road."

Why is road in quotes? Because from that point on, there wasn't one. It may be on the map, but to say it exists is a stretch. We went with it anyway, following bent shafts of grass and the occasionally sand-stuffed tire track. At some point, I asked Butch for a racer's mindset again and he said, "This is still really sweet."

We made our way through a cattle guard and knew that a lake we saw on the map must but close. We were into rolling hills, without a clear way to get the truck through and got out to walk, scout the terrain and make some choices. I crested a hill to find our hidden lake nestled in the rolling hills below. Nothing around but birds, sandhills, and a surly black bull outlined against the grass on the otherside of the lake.

The problem was that we couldn't see a safe way through. Then our farmer friend showed up. Rick jumped into his atv and the farmer, with his kids in tow, showed us the route down to the lake.

We dropped down near the lake shore, relaxed as we negotiated its northern side and promptly got stuck.

Things got a bit worse before they got better. We intially used Thermarests under the tires to try to get some purchase, but they weren't enough. As Rick and Butch dug and thought through a few angles, I walked a few hundred yards to a cattle-guard and brought back some logs from the surround fence. We then jacked the truck up, returned some sand to the void beneath the truck, topped that with the logs, laid out our thermarests again along with a board from the back of the truck and Rick spun the truck back out of our sandpit and back onto driveable ground.

We looked at each other and Rick said pointedly: "We're not out of this yet."

With weather now rolling in, we made the decision to backtrack, it was nearing5pm and the sky looked questionable at best. We turned the truck around only to discover that we couldn't go back the way we came. The sandy ridge we had dropped down from would never hold enough to get the truck back up. The only choice was to move forward.

The question was to move forward onto what? No road was to be found and we ended up in an open field. After a lot of mental and physical back and forth, we found a cut path following the contour of section of hills. Just as the road had disintegrated earlier, it regained life as we went. Soon we were back on gravel, comfortably driving along the route.

We had to call the day there. We drove Butch back to Valentine. I drank a Rockstar and drove Rick and I back across Nebraska, listening to the game and watching lightening pour down from the sky.

If you are ever going to get stuck in the middle of nowhere and put yourself in a spot. Take Rick and Butch. No drama. No worries. Just thinking things through and getting it done.

Oh, and if you'd be smart enough not to get stuck in the first place, all the better.

Where the Buffalo Roam

Road Trip

Rock D and I will be heading up to Valentine this afternoon to meet Butch. We'll be driving the Epic route, riding some Chadron single track and generally rocking it Road Trip style.

Photos of Western Nebraska.

I will try to send some shots and reports from the road, as well and channel the spirit of HST.

"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over." - Hunter S. Thompson

Case of the Jimmie Legs

At the end of August, I went back to the three-a-day ride schedule. Before work, quick lunch burst and post work. (Cross prep and Death Sentence for EnduroChub). Now, I am sitting here with a case of the Jimmie Legs. Things just aren't functioning quite like they should. Close but not quite. Zig when I want to zag. 'Y' functioning as a vowel.

Example. I was working on the Cross dismount skills the other day and tried to pull of the dismount where you bring your swing leg between your frame and off leg so you can literally hit the ground running. Well, I hit the ground alright. Rodeo Clown style. I did roll up to my feet and raised my arms in mock gymnastic fashion, but the scores were low, even if the Russian judge screwed me over.

In other news, I am now accessible 24/7. The corporate juggernaut has issued me a blackberry. I got it Friday and kept it boxed through the weekend, but had it at least sync it up as week began. Well, today I took it out on my lunch ride and, in the middle of gravel road nowhere Nebraska, found that my email was updating and that I could ride and work if I wanted to do so. Geeky cool. Corporate scary.

I was hoping that the evolution of our company would go from Minor Threat to Fugazi to, at least, Green Day. Now I am wondering if we aren't just Sting.