A Great Moment in Evil Unicorn History

While it may seem I am staying up late searching the web for the best in single digit angry waves, I happened upon this thinking of cross and couldn't resist. (It's too bad that in today's cycling world winning as much as Nys seems like anecdotal evidence of doping.)

The 'real' Evil Unicorns have officially taken it up a notch for Landahl and will be serving one geared goodness in the Expert field. This isn't the Open Pro/Am as apparently that's co-ed only, but according to the Granny Gear staff (who are incredibly helpful) two teams who have hit the podium already this year will be there vying for series points.

We'll see what we can shake loose.

Honorary Evil Unicorn

The Man in Black.

Cold-Cocked

Despite fending it off for most of the Labor Day weekend, the cold which has crept up on me since Saturday seems to have finally taken hold today. Ah, the fun of a runny nose.

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Congrats are in order to Squirrel and MG for their respective wins in Iowa. Nice work, fellas.

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The Dakota 50 seemed to have been a scene. Documentation abounds.

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Over the weekend and just prior to a ride, I found via SiteMeter that someone had reached the blog by searching under the phrase "Evil Unicorns." Somehow, I turned the phrase over in my head until I had concluded that "throwing an Evil Unicorn" was a great euphemism for giving someone the finger, "you know, giving them the bird." One horn. One finger. What's not to love?

As I rode to work today, it occured to me that this will probably end up like my "discovery" of Pangea in fifth grade. After who knows how long of not paying attention to the actual point of class, I was ecstatic when I looked at a world map and could visualize how all of the continents could actually fit together like a puzzle. Of course, Mr. Rhodes blew my visions of grandeur with a dismissive, "It's called Pangea, Skip. Now go sit down." Damn Joy Kill.

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Thera-Flu Time!!!

Barriers to Entry

How boring am I, you ask? Boring enough to start taking pictures of downed limbs and trees on the trails around Lincoln. With everyone else across the country racing, it seemed I should have carried a chainsaw along on my rides.

Wilderness 1. Doubles as a small jungle gym.


Wilderness 2. Removed in about 30 seconds.

Branched Oak 1. The wall of limbs.

Branched Oak Two. The rythmn section just got harder.
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Jeff and I also came across an interesting scene at Branched Oak. A group of ten to fourteen turkey vultures must have been enjoying a bit more than a simple snack in the woods. As we crested a climb we spooked and the sky was filled ever so briefly with impressive wing spans. Hitchcock flashed through my head, but Jeff bitch slapped me to reality.

"If You Move, I Strike...

... and if you do not move, I strike. Oh foolish people."

While half of the Nebraska Cycling Scene prepares to head out of town this weekend for places known and unknown, I'll be rolling pedals near home. While the feet are vastly improved and rides continue to build, a 24 at this point would slow the impending reign of the Evil Unicorns and that, is unacceptable.

Speaking of the EU, the debate now rages: SS/Rigid category or Open Pro/Am (still running SS)?

Single Speed Cross Worlds: Road Trip to Portland?

I've seen this information on several sites:

The Portland Single Speed Collective announced it will host the inaugural Singlespeed Cyclo-cross World Championships in conjunction with a Cross Crusade event on November 11-12.

Day one will include a qualifying 'cross time trial, a relatively uncommon event although the AVA Cyclo-cross Stage Race has been holding one at the Alkek Velodrome for the past three years. At the Portland event, time bonuses will be given for "sketchy aero bar descending", fastest saddle-less lap, fastest saddle-less lap while on aero bars, fastest steep hill climb, and best six-pack bunny hopping.

Day Two is the Grand Boucle of Singlespeed 'cross, a 60-minute race around the notorious Estacada Bowl. One woman and one man will be crowned Singlespeed Cyclo-cross World Champion.

A way to get my ass kicked and visit Portland? Not to shabby.

Weekend Wake Up Call

The two blurry forms in the picture below are DK and Corey respectively. You may be thinking to yourself, "Jesus, Snob, learn to take a picture." The key here is that this is the view from my eyes after these two politely ripped me into the ground on the gravel hills North of town. That turning around and looking backward pose they have is something that haunted them all day from craning around trying to figure out how far back I was. I think they both have chiropractic appointments on Monday. Great ride though. It felt good to hurt.

"Seriously, I don't think he can ride that..."

And then there are these jackasses. Three Evil Unicorns sitting on a box. I visit our friendly neighborhood Jedi to see how the Swanson State Champs race went and BAMM!! There is this picture of my teammates for Lahdahl all grinning on the podium.

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Congrats guys

From L to R: War Axe Sam Rosenau, Nate Woodman, Mark "MOD" Savery.

Enough blogging. The game is afoot.

Assorted Snobbery: Trainspotting

"The best book ever written by man or woman... deserves to sell more copies than the bible." Rebel Inc.

Occassionally, I will say to Mrs. Snob that I am just getting less intelligent by the day. It's time to restore some mental snap with a classic.

I know you're not Renton, but which character are you? Take the quiz, wanker.

Somehow, I ended up as Tommy. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Social Networking Will Never Be The Same

Johnny is returning the screw. ThreadPitch.

Who Is Dick Hickey?

Things are interesting in the cycling world, but not in the house of Snobbery. I spent most of the weekend reverse imagineering the pink IF back into a hour of pain CX machine from its gravel grinder alter-ego. I may prefer the aesthetic of the 29er, but the pinkie has a hold of my black heart.

Speaking of gravel, it's on again. TransIowa V.4. Call your neighbors, tell your friends and most importantly, bake G-Ted a pie to say thank you.

Jesse kept the WORS streak alive and is apparently drinking with Nebraska vagrants. Living dirty never felt so good.

Apparently a new, but strangely familiar face arrived on the scene for the six hour version of the Rapture in Misery race at Landahl. Dick Hickey took second despite cramping near the end of six. Urban Myth or Living Legend?

Can Ya Dig It??

Laughing at 2005 from 2007.

Kitten and Catnip

A strong Ore2Shore finish for the BKB. Meow.

Barriers and a Crisp Fall Breeze

Today was a pool of sweat and 100+ degree heat index, but oh so soon, barriers and cowbells will rule the day. (At least the feet were a bit better.) If it weren't for the Evil Unicorns, I'd be jumping out of my skin for October to arrive.

With Cross Nationals in KC, the excitement is even higher. Three day road trip and two races in which I can appropriately embarrass myself along with watching many of the best cross racers America has to offer. (Come on, Jon Page, come to KC!!)

Speaking of fast, Molly's working a fund raiser to help minimize the cost of a season's travel, including heading across the pond to toe the line at a World Cup level. She has two Vanilla frames on the block, one of which has a look that is near and dear to my hearts and stars.

Jaw Dropper

Evil Unicorns Are Epic

Nebraska Wrecking Crew for 24hrs of Landahl.

Single Speed/Rigid/Rocking:

Nate Woodman - Head Floor Sweeper

Sam Rosenau - Fabrication in his Future.

Mark Savery - aka MOD. Giving up suspension for 24hrs.

Skip Cronin - aka PussyFeet.

Seeing Red Through Black

An hour and a half into a ride today my feet decided to unleash some sonic nerve ripping action yet again to the point where I ended up pedalling 45 minutes home by switching from one leg to the other, letting one hang unclipped. (Insert string of cursing here.)

Tonight, the Sidi's meet my exacto knife.

The Superstition Twist

"A good pilot is compelled to evaluate what's happened, so he can apply what he's learned." - Viper

Having turned over the dismal effort at 9 Mile more times that anyone but me would care to count, I've now come to understand the real reasons for my poor performance. My lack of attention to superstition.

Clearly, my preparation in this area was sorely lacking. Some should really hit me in the head with a right-side up horse-shoe.

Let's look at where I got off-track:

* Lack of "War Paint." - As pointed out by the MonkeyGirl, the nails were clean. Or, as a Quik-Stop Clerk might say, "there wasn't a lot of pink going on." Historical data and metrics show this cost me three laps at a sub 90 minute rate. Ouch.

* Chopless. - Here's where common sense failed. It's tempting to believe that a cleanly shaven face will provide aero-dynamics and therefore faster average time. Learn from Snobbish foolishness. Chops allow on to channel the powers of T. Brown, Bob Roll, and Geoff Kabush (double strength if you are Canadian) and, not only turn phenominal lap times, but ride with technical abandon.

* Consumption of Cornbread. - Be advised. This is not a nutrition consideration. While not fully tested, there is anecdotal evidence to suggest that riding with Cornbread can assist in achieving greater levels of success. Some side effects may include singing Oasis during races, arguments over the legality of pirated music and conversations regarding your future life as a marine animal.

Of course, at this point, one can only hope that I can learn from my mistakes and put this knowledge into superstitous best-practice. "It takes a lot more than just fancy flying."

Happy Friday. Snob out.

September to Dismember?

September 2nd - Seven Oaks 24 Solo (pending full foot recovery)

September 15th - Manawa 12 Solo

September 23rd - Landahl (But it's not what you think)

"... But Let's Go Kill Some Birds, I'm Psyched."

Since the feet still ache, I've spent time reviewing what races I'd like to hit for the remainder of year. (Thanks for all of the suggestions.) One race no one mentioned but that I looked at today is the 24hrs of Landahl. I was actually starting to get excited at the idea of going for it until I checked out the price. $330 for Solos. That's over 3x 9 Mile.

I don't get it.

The same weekend there is a 12hr in Wisco just north of Wausau for $35. 4 times the gas yet still quite a bit cheaper (though shorter). I am sure the Granny Gear events are top notch, but are they THAT much better? It's sad and perhaps telling that I can do multiple races, hundreds of miles away from the crib for the cost of one 24 that's a little over three hours away.

In fact, the Heartland Race guys have a 12 hour roughly a month prior at the same local. They put on a strong race, so where's the value?

Not sure if this post counts as whining, bitching or appropriate observation, but I don't see how that kind of price point can stand up considering the other options available. As always, feel free to tell me why I am wrong. Frankly, I'd be happy to be proven wrong on this one.

Perhaps it's for the better. I can't ride rocks anyway.

Rule #22. Never commit to a race if you can't afford beer afterwards.

Snob out.

Leaning on a Broken Fence

* Back to wearing shoes instead of sandals.

* No stress fractures in my feet.

* Preride bruise still looking sweet after a week.

Now What?

Aside from a couple of cycling related "projects," I have no idea what races I'll do for the remainder of the season. Elk mentioned the Iron Cross, which is getting serious consideration, but what else? As always, suggestions welcome.